Thursday, 30 April 2009
Here I sit in JFK awaiting flight home. Times like these I think how do people live with themselves? There's a kid with his dvd player and no headphones!!! The father is sitting right beside him but obviously has zero awareness of being in a public space and zero concern for any other human beings. The kid's player is at a volume unnecessary considering he's right on top of it and the only thing that seems to have put a stop to his incredibly annoying behaviour is lack of power!!!! Yay hopefully his battery will run out soon and we don't all have to put up with this continual tinny noise. Everybody else has the good grace to put headphones on and not inflict their soundtrack on everybody else. Nowadays tho you don't dare say anything cuz you never know wot they'll do in response. Oh well the announcements drown it out momentarily. I'll go back to my twittering and try to ignore it.
Monday, 23 February 2009
Children having children!
I've just been watching a chat show discussing the case of this 15yr old having a baby with a 13yr old dad! Where do I start?!?!?!
In my day (sound of creaking bones) the entire concept of allowing a 15yr old to have a child was inconceivable. OK you're stupid or careless enough to get pregnant, why wd you ruin your life and the life of this child by going through with it? I fully accept there are religious considerations for some people and I respect that choice. I personally have no religious leanings whatsoever but my parents wd never have allowed me to screw up my life like this. It's all very rosy for now (let's face it, who can resist a newborn baby?) but in 2 yrs time that "child" which she still is at 15 will have had more than enough when her friends are out clubbing and she can't afford a babysitter. Or no I'll alter that slightly, it's not her life that's screwed it's her mother's! Grandma will be doing everything by then. Forgive me for assuming and there is the remotest chance I cd be wrong but I doubt it.
The discussion came up about the value of prosecuting the 13 yr old father. Phrases like "waste of police time" and "what wd charging him teach him?" or "it's too late now, they've got the baby"....but it's the law!!!! "Waste of police time" - really? There's soooo much wrong with that I won't waste my time. "What wd charging him teach him (or others?)?" - for one thing, it wd hopefully serve to remind him and other teenage boys that it is against the law. Sorry, I forgot the law means nothing, morality means nothing, age means nothing (even the concept of a 13 yr old actually having sex bothers me), there is no sense of responsibility or consequences. Maybe a reminder in the form of an actual followed through prosecution may teach other kids there are consequences for such cavalier behaviour. And "it's too late now", but grandma's going to be doing all the work, so what if the father isn't there for the baby for a few months. At 13 how much can he be there anyway?
Which leads me to what prompted this rant, ok ooooh can't prosecute the poor kids, they've got enough to deal with now they've got this baby....so who does pay? PROSECUTE THE PARENTS!!!! Isn't it obvious? If the mother hasn't taught her daughter to keep her legs together and have some self-respect then the mother is the person who needs to be taught responsibility!!! What was she doing allowing these kids to have sleepovers, cd she really be that stupid! When I was that age actually ONCE we were given that opportunity. However we were painfully aware that my friend's parents were immediately downstairs and cd very likely hear everything that was going on and who frequently poked their heads up to see what was going on. We KNEW they were keeping an eye on us so we did nothing. What I remember was the boys trying hard to impress by scaring the girls with spooky stories and how cool we thought we were for being allowed to "sleep" in the same room as boys but nothing was going to happen, tho it was stunning how much mess and noise we cd make! We were kids behaving like kids at 13 but at the same time being credited with a certain amount of responsibility to behave like the adults we wd soon be. True, 2 yrs later wd have been a different story but at 13 we were still kids. Has this mother taught her daughter nothing about sex and the problems associated? With the availability of so many forms of contraception nowadays how cd this possibly happen and why is the natural solution to actually go thru with having it?! Abortion is not a pleasant thing but god it's a helluva lot easier to get over than having a child for the next 18 yrs!!!!!! Prosecute the mother and send a message to others. And prosecute the boy's father who surely must share in the blame for not teaching his son to respect women, to not treat sex as a recreational activity, to understand that sex is something that belongs only in a committed relationship and that having sex with your female friend next door does not constitute a relationship!
Whew that's quite worn me out for the day. Feels better tho. Better than screaming at the telly!
In my day (sound of creaking bones) the entire concept of allowing a 15yr old to have a child was inconceivable. OK you're stupid or careless enough to get pregnant, why wd you ruin your life and the life of this child by going through with it? I fully accept there are religious considerations for some people and I respect that choice. I personally have no religious leanings whatsoever but my parents wd never have allowed me to screw up my life like this. It's all very rosy for now (let's face it, who can resist a newborn baby?) but in 2 yrs time that "child" which she still is at 15 will have had more than enough when her friends are out clubbing and she can't afford a babysitter. Or no I'll alter that slightly, it's not her life that's screwed it's her mother's! Grandma will be doing everything by then. Forgive me for assuming and there is the remotest chance I cd be wrong but I doubt it.
The discussion came up about the value of prosecuting the 13 yr old father. Phrases like "waste of police time" and "what wd charging him teach him?" or "it's too late now, they've got the baby"....but it's the law!!!! "Waste of police time" - really? There's soooo much wrong with that I won't waste my time. "What wd charging him teach him (or others?)?" - for one thing, it wd hopefully serve to remind him and other teenage boys that it is against the law. Sorry, I forgot the law means nothing, morality means nothing, age means nothing (even the concept of a 13 yr old actually having sex bothers me), there is no sense of responsibility or consequences. Maybe a reminder in the form of an actual followed through prosecution may teach other kids there are consequences for such cavalier behaviour. And "it's too late now", but grandma's going to be doing all the work, so what if the father isn't there for the baby for a few months. At 13 how much can he be there anyway?
Which leads me to what prompted this rant, ok ooooh can't prosecute the poor kids, they've got enough to deal with now they've got this baby....so who does pay? PROSECUTE THE PARENTS!!!! Isn't it obvious? If the mother hasn't taught her daughter to keep her legs together and have some self-respect then the mother is the person who needs to be taught responsibility!!! What was she doing allowing these kids to have sleepovers, cd she really be that stupid! When I was that age actually ONCE we were given that opportunity. However we were painfully aware that my friend's parents were immediately downstairs and cd very likely hear everything that was going on and who frequently poked their heads up to see what was going on. We KNEW they were keeping an eye on us so we did nothing. What I remember was the boys trying hard to impress by scaring the girls with spooky stories and how cool we thought we were for being allowed to "sleep" in the same room as boys but nothing was going to happen, tho it was stunning how much mess and noise we cd make! We were kids behaving like kids at 13 but at the same time being credited with a certain amount of responsibility to behave like the adults we wd soon be. True, 2 yrs later wd have been a different story but at 13 we were still kids. Has this mother taught her daughter nothing about sex and the problems associated? With the availability of so many forms of contraception nowadays how cd this possibly happen and why is the natural solution to actually go thru with having it?! Abortion is not a pleasant thing but god it's a helluva lot easier to get over than having a child for the next 18 yrs!!!!!! Prosecute the mother and send a message to others. And prosecute the boy's father who surely must share in the blame for not teaching his son to respect women, to not treat sex as a recreational activity, to understand that sex is something that belongs only in a committed relationship and that having sex with your female friend next door does not constitute a relationship!
Whew that's quite worn me out for the day. Feels better tho. Better than screaming at the telly!
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
quick update: discovered twitter especially Stephen Fry, trying to catchup with other blogs, living on facebook, where wd we be without all this wonderful technology!!!!, arranging meeting up with friends I haven't seen in 30 years and possibly meeting another Farndell on the same trip...sounds like I actually have a life doesn't it? Enjoyed our snow yesterday, poor old snowman is wilting a fair bit today but by the sounds of it we shd be able to repair him by the weekend.
Thursday, 25 December 2008
Memorials
http://www.ncf-net.org/memorial.htm
This page is a sad reminder of how Lynn Gilderdale's case is not so unusual. Spare a thought today for those not so fortunate.
This page is a sad reminder of how Lynn Gilderdale's case is not so unusual. Spare a thought today for those not so fortunate.
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
http://support-gilderdales.blogspot.com/
Happy xmas all and please add your comments to my Lynn Gilderdale blog when you can. Lynn's family must be having a very much harder xmas than most of us can imagine and they need to know we are all feeling their pain. At this time of year more than any other we must think of others and offer all the support we can to those in need. I have read many articles that come out of the woodwork when things like Lynn's death happen and every symptom described I can honestly say I have suffered at some point but fortunately not as bad or for as long as someone like Lynn. I am one of the reasonably lucky one
s who has come out the other side of the pain, depression, brainfog, etc associated with this illness though I still suffer constantly to some degree. I envy hugely anyone who says they are "cured" of this illness but the truth is many of us never recover a full and functional life. In the wake of Lynn's death it is vital we do not give up the fight and that we persevere with the battle for recognition and better services that are so badly needed.
s who has come out the other side of the pain, depression, brainfog, etc associated with this illness though I still suffer constantly to some degree. I envy hugely anyone who says they are "cured" of this illness but the truth is many of us never recover a full and functional life. In the wake of Lynn's death it is vital we do not give up the fight and that we persevere with the battle for recognition and better services that are so badly needed.Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Arrest over ME campaigner's death
The mother of a prominent ME sufferer and campaigner has been arrested on suspicion of murder following the death of her severely ill daughter.
Kay Gilderdale, 54, was questioned and released on police bail after the death of Lynn Gilderdale, 31, on Thursday. Sussex Police were called to Ms Gilderdale's home in Stonegate, East Sussex, at about 0830 GMT. Ms Gilderdale had been campaigning for a better understanding of ME, which she contracted about 17 years ago. Her family, who issued a statement through Sussex Police, said: "Lynn was young, beautiful, loving and caring.
"At the age of 14 years she was struck down by ME - an illness greatly misunderstood - and, as a result, suffered the stigma attached to this dreadful illness. She fought long and hard for 17 years with immense bravery, enduring constant pain and sickness. Every system of her body was affected."
Ms Gilderdale required 24-hour care, but still had time for others, her family said."She was a much-loved daughter, sister and granddaughter who, despite her illness, always gave love and support to others," they continued. "In life Lynn strove to help the medical profession improve their insight into ME, which affects thousands of people in varying degrees of severity."
TB vaccination
Rother district commander Ch Insp Heather Keating said: "This is a very tragic incident, but we are not looking for anyone else in connection with it." Mrs Gilderdale has been bailed until 6 March, 2009. Her daughter fell ill after receiving a vaccination for TB when she was 14-years-old. She then went on to have bronchitis, tonsillitis and glandular fever, before being diagnosed with ME. The condition, which is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, often left her unable to get out of bed. The ME Association estimates that 250,000 people are affected by the condition in the UK.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/sussex/7771047.stm
A tragic story about a girl who had ME since she was 14 and was mostly bedridden. Doctors had at times labelled her attention-seeking as if she CHOSE to be that ill. I have heard many people say that they resent the implication by practitioners of certain therapies that if a particular therapy doesn't work for you it's your fault because you don't WANT to get better. The arrogance of perfectly healthy people never ceases to amaze me! People like the GP I had when I got my diagnosis who put in my notes that I "seemed content with that diagnosis" - as if yeah ok I'll accept that, it may not be real but I'll go along with it. I don't exactly know how he thought I was supposed to react - very strange. How could anyone for a moment believe that this girl's family didn't do everything within their human capabilities to make their daughter's life better. I personally wd give anything to be able to go back to work, have another child, run a marathon, etc etc etc. This is not a lifestyle choice and this is not how I planned my life to be. For whatever reason everything Lyn's family tried was all futile and she had had enough. Thankfully I have rarely been that low and never been completely bedridden but that sense of futility and despair, the feeling that you have no future to look forward to, the depression every time they tried something new and it failed, I can relate to as can every ME sufferer the world over. Someone suggested all the support groups, all the sufferers, all the supportive medical professionals (they do exist, really) shd consult her parents to name a day when we can all remember amazing people like Lyn and her mother and remind the world what a very real, debilitating illness this is. I know we have ME Awareness Day etc but specifically to honour the extraordinary spirit of someone like Lyn who, in spite of being so ill for so long, still managed to keep hoping, keep fighting, keep raising money and awareness. Sadly it all got too much for her but we must never forget how much she and her family did to further the cause of other ME sufferers. RIP Lyn, may you not have died in vain.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/334716.stm
This is an excellent article about how this illness is soooo much more than just being tired. For all those ignorant people who make comments like "we all get tired sometimes" and "I'd love to not work and just sit around all day".
Oh dear I seem to be having a campaigning day! Maybe it's because I have no strength today to do anything physical so I'm glued to my pooter. Legs are killing me, can't keep my eyes open and short of breath...and hey this is an average day. C'est la vie.
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