Life with an autistic son

My lovely autistic son Michael is about to turn 18. We were discussing this with him last night as grandma was saying how she wanted to give him "something that wd last" not just another action figure or whatever. This shows a) that she is from a different generation who have a different perspective on the value of certain things and b) that she does not grasp this child one iota! Apparently she meant something like a stereo system which is what she bought his father when he was 18. Of course these days, an iphone wd be far more relevant but that fact aside, Michael does not listen to music and has no requirement for a stereo (he has of course a computer, an ipod, etc). It also shows that she has no understanding of the value of the figures he collects, in his opinion they do last as he still has every last one he has ever bought (thankfully we have a big house!). He cd still produce every birthday present she has ever given him if pushed, they're all there somewhere. Grandma has no idea of modern society and what any kid today really wants let alone my son. She also has the same problem as her son, they can only do what they think you want rather than listening and learning what you actually do want. Anyway I'm sure she'll be very offended and upset that Michael doesn't want what she wants to give him and he finds it offensive that her attitude towards his figures is so scathing when they matter so much to him.

We then endeavoured to explain to him why his 18th birthday is so important. You can drink (he has no interest), you are legally entitled to do things like vote and do independent things like get your own flat (chance wd be a fine thing), be legally responsible for yourself (no concept of that and frankly terrifies him)...his response was that he didn't really understand birthdays anyway, it's just celebrating the fact that you haven't died for another year! He also suggested that he cd show grandma that he was buying a game that has an 18+ rating, wd that do (which was mildly sarcastic as he's been able to do that for years anyway cuz he's so big noone's ever asked)? I don't know who's missing the point more...

Please tell me I'm not alone in this insanity? Please tell me other people have strange children with different views and that there is someone else out there with a kid like this!!!!! Tbh I can't fault his logic, but grandma doesn't understand and his father constantly has this bizarre attitude that "well he shdn't be like that"...well maybe he shdn't but he is, what am I supposed to do about it? His father never has learnt to approach the child from the child's point of view not his. At least nowadays he accepts that if we want the child to do something, I have to do the asking cuz I know how to deal with him. Yes well, most people don't respond to being barked at! Obviously his 18th is of far more importance to us than it is to Michael himself. His father's disappointed that he can't take him out for his first pint (I'm thrilled I don't have to worry about him binge drinking and all the other awful things that happen these days) and grandma's disappointed cuz she can't buy him something that is important to her but means nothing to the child. My opinion of course is apparently of no relevance to anyone. God I love my life.

following along with this total lack of understanding, thanks to my friend Nessie for finding this...
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=137094266829&id=766393109&ref=mf