what goes on in the mind of someone like him?

what goes on in the mind of someone like him? I know his father was diagnosed schizophrenic but I don't know if that's it with him but he's sure as hell got something ridiculous going on in there. I have no patience anymore. You'd think after twenty years of this crap I'd either have got used to it or left but hey life's just not that simple. Maybe it's the fact that I now have my own money in the bank and don't feel so dependant on him that I can step back and deal with it all a bit better. This morning yet another series of examples (oh no not just one!). My friend from Montreal's wife is here visiting family and she brought her brother over the other night for dinner. A perfect example of what he's like, he just didn't shut up and I cd barely get a word in edgewise to find out anything about her brother or have the chat we girls wanted to about my friend and what he's been up to for the 30 years we were apart! So when she called this morning he unfortunately picked up the other phone. She had meant it to be a quick call to say she'll be back from Spain on Friday and we cd get together just the two of us and have a natter. However it turned into a lot longer phone call cuz he kept butting in, talking very loudly and repeating himself and doing everything he's spent 20 years screaming at me for doing! After the call, I pointed out that he was going on and on, and suddenly it's him trying to shout me down about how she had said she wanted to go and I asked her one another question. True but that was five minutes after she said she had to go because he had just kept talking and talking and my one last question was relevant to us getting together which got quickly answered and then the call ended. He seems to have conveniently forgotten the five minutes in between where he did all the talking!!! Then a few minutes ago another winning example. F1 qualifiers had finished so he just gets up and walks out of the room leaving the tv remote on the other side of the room. Sounds stupid I know but ten minutes later he comes back in having left the tv on horse racing (snooze), and announces he's going out to do things and starts to walk out again. I very quietly pointed out that the least he cd do is hand me the controls and not have left it on bloody horse racing and he's suddenly shouting at me that I should chill out, nobody died (which he seems to think is such a clever thing to say) as if I had tried to chop his arm off or something. I pointed out that I had not raised my voice in the slightest, that I merely requested that if he wasn't going to be watching it the least he cd have done was hand me the remote and he just proceeded to shout on for five minutes about everything I do to him. The world is about him of course, silly me for ever trying to point out how something he may have done affects me. Eventually he had to actually concede that I had a point, that it wd have been nice if he hadn't just walked away like nobody else existed when even when he's not there I always make a point of leaving the remotes where he can find them. Little things but I just thought it was selfish of him to just not think. The saddest part is he never cd actually just say sorry. Normal people this wd just be a two minute conversation; cd you at least give me the remote, (sarcastic tone) good grief leaving it on horse racing of all things (smile) - oh sorry yes (and passes me the remote). Over in two seconds, no-one upset. Instead a simple remark turns into a ten minute personal attack on me and not the slightest idea in his mind that he has ever done anything that might upset me for any reason cuz apparently he's perfect. I'm sick of it!!!!!! (Yes I cd have just got up and got it but 1) it's not that easy for me to get up especially on a day like this when my legs entirely ache and 2) that's not the point, he left it where he was sitting rather than considering the other person in the room). 20 years I've put up with him saying things like no wonder everybody hates you cuz you talk so much and cuz you say things like that (of course everyone in the world can be as offensive as they like to me but if I express an opinion, I'm aggressive and disgusting and have no right to be alive). The interesting thing is that recently we got to be around people who didn't consider him to be the centre of the universe, these were people who weren't really that interested in him, who wanted to talk to ME, hear what I had to say. This is a rare experience to be around people who noticeably found it a bit hard to take him talking so much, who didn't necessarily find everything he said so amusing as he thinks he is, people who actually noticed how he puts me down, interrupts me, talks over me, argues with everything I say, makes a big thing about how wrong I am and then promptly repeats almost word for word what I just said but when I said it it was wrong. He has been surrounded by the same "friends" for the last 30 years and he doesn't understand that people inside that group just accept him (and most of them behave the same way in truth) but people outside that circle don't necessarily see him quite the same way. His best friend for example will ask you a question and then when you start to answer he'll literally turn round and talk to someone else like you don't exist. Yet in Michael's opinion, I am the only one who interrupts him and cuts him off!!! Funny how he doesn't notice when someone else does it or especially when he does it to me, it's not wrong! It's like Nixon, he's never done anything illegal cuz when the President does something, it's NOT illegal. Hey ho he's gone out now so I have peace and I intend to do nothing and I'm not going to feel quilty about it either.

Windows 7

oooh I'm in love with Windows 7! I thought Vista looked nice but I hated virtually .everything about how it worked but Microsoft seem to have listened at last and so far I have not had a thing that doesn't install properly and run faultlessly. Talk about tempting fate but so far so good. This is now being typed on the blogger sidebar gadget which never worked with vista. Fingers crossed it will continue.

Here I sit in JFK awaiting flight home. Times like these I think how do people live with themselves? There's a kid with his dvd player and no headphones!!! The father is sitting right beside him but obviously has zero awareness of being in a public space and zero concern for any other human beings. The kid's player is at a volume unnecessary considering he's right on top of it and the only thing that seems to have put a stop to his incredibly annoying behaviour is lack of power!!!! Yay hopefully his battery will run out soon and we don't all have to put up with this continual tinny noise. Everybody else has the good grace to put headphones on and not inflict their soundtrack on everybody else. Nowadays tho you don't dare say anything cuz you never know wot they'll do in response. Oh well the announcements drown it out momentarily. I'll go back to my twittering and try to ignore it.

Children having children!

I've just been watching a chat show discussing the case of this 15yr old having a baby with a 13yr old dad! Where do I start?!?!?!

In my day (sound of creaking bones) the entire concept of allowing a 15yr old to have a child was inconceivable. OK you're stupid or careless enough to get pregnant, why wd you ruin your life and the life of this child by going through with it? I fully accept there are religious considerations for some people and I respect that choice. I personally have no religious leanings whatsoever but my parents wd never have allowed me to screw up my life like this. It's all very rosy for now (let's face it, who can resist a newborn baby?) but in 2 yrs time that "child" which she still is at 15 will have had more than enough when her friends are out clubbing and she can't afford a babysitter. Or no I'll alter that slightly, it's not her life that's screwed it's her mother's! Grandma will be doing everything by then. Forgive me for assuming and there is the remotest chance I cd be wrong but I doubt it.

The discussion came up about the value of prosecuting the 13 yr old father. Phrases like "waste of police time" and "what wd charging him teach him?" or "it's too late now, they've got the baby"....but it's the law!!!! "Waste of police time" - really? There's soooo much wrong with that I won't waste my time. "What wd charging him teach him (or others?)?" - for one thing, it wd hopefully serve to remind him and other teenage boys that it is against the law. Sorry, I forgot the law means nothing, morality means nothing, age means nothing (even the concept of a 13 yr old actually having sex bothers me), there is no sense of responsibility or consequences. Maybe a reminder in the form of an actual followed through prosecution may teach other kids there are consequences for such cavalier behaviour. And "it's too late now", but grandma's going to be doing all the work, so what if the father isn't there for the baby for a few months. At 13 how much can he be there anyway?

Which leads me to what prompted this rant, ok ooooh can't prosecute the poor kids, they've got enough to deal with now they've got this baby....so who does pay? PROSECUTE THE PARENTS!!!! Isn't it obvious? If the mother hasn't taught her daughter to keep her legs together and have some self-respect then the mother is the person who needs to be taught responsibility!!! What was she doing allowing these kids to have sleepovers, cd she really be that stupid! When I was that age actually ONCE we were given that opportunity. However we were painfully aware that my friend's parents were immediately downstairs and cd very likely hear everything that was going on and who frequently poked their heads up to see what was going on. We KNEW they were keeping an eye on us so we did nothing. What I remember was the boys trying hard to impress by scaring the girls with spooky stories and how cool we thought we were for being allowed to "sleep" in the same room as boys but nothing was going to happen, tho it was stunning how much mess and noise we cd make! We were kids behaving like kids at 13 but at the same time being credited with a certain amount of responsibility to behave like the adults we wd soon be. True, 2 yrs later wd have been a different story but at 13 we were still kids. Has this mother taught her daughter nothing about sex and the problems associated? With the availability of so many forms of contraception nowadays how cd this possibly happen and why is the natural solution to actually go thru with having it?! Abortion is not a pleasant thing but god it's a helluva lot easier to get over than having a child for the next 18 yrs!!!!!! Prosecute the mother and send a message to others. And prosecute the boy's father who surely must share in the blame for not teaching his son to respect women, to not treat sex as a recreational activity, to understand that sex is something that belongs only in a committed relationship and that having sex with your female friend next door does not constitute a relationship!

Whew that's quite worn me out for the day. Feels better tho. Better than screaming at the telly!

quick update: discovered twitter especially Stephen Fry, trying to catchup with other blogs, living on facebook, where wd we be without all this wonderful technology!!!!, arranging meeting up with friends I haven't seen in 30 years and possibly meeting another Farndell on the same trip...sounds like I actually have a life doesn't it? Enjoyed our snow yesterday, poor old snowman is wilting a fair bit today but by the sounds of it we shd be able to repair him by the weekend.

The Other M.E.

The Other M.E.

yippee someone who agrees about the damages of terminology.

Memorials

http://www.ncf-net.org/memorial.htm

This page is a sad reminder of how Lynn Gilderdale's case is not so unusual. Spare a thought today for those not so fortunate.